Spicyburritto

well. it's been a very long time. much has changed. an incredible amount. actually, i'm going to have to ease into this writing thing. i can't do any more right now.

posted by the burritto @ 7:40 PM 4 people have said what they wanted to.

That's it. No more.

I wish i had a more glorious ending. but i dont.

posted by the burritto @ 4:44 PM 0 people have said what they wanted to.

Against All Odds

How about the weather?

I say it's beautiful. Today during mixed ensemble we sat outside and worked on theory. I got the rocking chair and my ipod and it was delightful. so detached and isolated and with things like jack johnson, third eye blind, and bob marley all playing, how could i not help but to feel the beauty of nice weather? of course i could say that it was mostly me being able to forget things, but i'll take what i can get.

I have so much to say. But perhaps i'll repress all that a little while longer. Instead i'll discuss the absurdity of buttons on men's and women's clothes. I know i'm not the only one to notice this, but the buttons on men's shirts are always on one side, whereas the buttons on a woman's shirt are on the other side. What's up with that? Is there something about the physiology of men that enable them to button better with the button on their right side? Are women better abled to button from the left? Surely it has no noticeable aesthetical value. I mean either way, the button is on top. Personally, I blame it on women. I mean despite the way women continuously press for "equal rights" and such, they're always trying to slip in little ways to differentiate themselves from men, little things that they can take secret pleasure in. I mean look at the couches in women's bathrooms. How is it equal that they get to lounge around in the bathroom like that? Or look ---censored because i am good old fashioned ignorant--- You see, this button thing is just a continuation of such tricks played by womenfolk. Somehow, they take a dark, veiled pleasure in seeing men button with their right hands. Fine, be that way, you sly women; have your joys. Just remember that you don't get to write your names in the snow.

posted by the burritto @ 9:33 PM 2 people have said what they wanted to.

I am full of emptiness. I wake up in the morning. I get up. I shower, I put clothes on. Drag a comb through my hair and brush my teeth. Everything empty. I find myself driving to school. Find myself at school, in class, listening to the words around me: the way they fall and rise and add up to so much. And I miss them all. I am walking through the halls. I am so close to people; I see them but I don't hear them. They are empty. I sleep. I fall away from the words that surround me and I miss them all. I dream about doves that fall to die, I dream about ridiculous things like love, things that don't add up, and I don't see where dreams begin and reality ends. I wake up with a burning, a pressure. Something that always comes back. It fills me, makes me emptier because I can't feel anymore. I am empty.

posted by the burritto @ 11:14 PM 8 people have said what they wanted to.

at the ceiling of my feeling

i went to the jump (little children) concert last night. It was pretty hot. and by hot i mean it was fun, not like there was a lot of heat, even though there was. You see it's a figure of speech. anyway, after the concert i went to toms house. i havent done like a sleepover thing in a very long time. so today was sort of blurry. I went through things half aware. mostly because of tiredness but also because it's easier to deal with some things if you just cut ties with reality. Today at fencing i told the instructor that i wanted a hard practice. he happily agreed. it's so comforting to feel your body resisting the work and to conquer it and push it further. it's so comforting to have something like that to clear your mind. I have more to say, but i dont really feel like writing anymore

posted by the burritto @ 8:58 PM 0 people have said what they wanted to.

I certainly do like chocolate chocolate chip cookies though.

I woke up this morning feeling incredibly unfulfilled. And i don't know why. I had a good night last night, being with anastasia made me happy. But all day i've just had this darkness, this gloom. Maybe it was because i've been faced with this daunting task of cleaning my room and doing scholarship stuff. Maybe it was finding all the remnants and memories of lost relationships as i trudged through the rest of the junk in my room. Maybe it's the slow and reluctant realization that spring break is nearly over. Or the regret and shame that i feel for the way i've handled some of my friendships lately. either way, i've made very little progress on the things i have to do today, and that leaves me feeling even more discouraged. I think i'll go eat some of those cookies now.

posted by the burritto @ 4:59 PM 0 people have said what they wanted to.

fred jones was worn out from caring for his often screaming and crying wife during the day but he couldnt sleep at night for fear that she in a stupor from the drugs that didnt ease the pain would set the house ablaze with a cigarette.

posted by the burritto @ 2:58 PM 0 people have said what they wanted to.

Ah, Spring Break.

My week off has started pretty nicely. friday i went to eat kenyan food with anastasia so that was awesome. saturday was my mom's birthday and she had some of her friends over, so that was sort of annoying to have to clean the house for them and then not be able to go to bed until late because they were all a little drunk and extremely noisy. yesterday i met bekka in chapel hill and we just sort of hung out there for a while before i came back to raleigh and met annie again. Don't waste your money seeing "Be Cool" it's not worth much. now i have to clean my room all day. that's going to pretty much suck. So i guess this was a pretty boring post, but i figured i should put something up so that i can keep up the appearance of a good blogger. I think i'll go eat chocolate cake for breakfast again.

posted by the burritto @ 8:51 AM 0 people have said what they wanted to.

What a long day.

So on the way home today i got stuck in some really bad traffic. I sat at this light for five cycles before there was room for me to cross the intersection. But at one point a truck drove by with this bumper sticker. It was one of those stickers that has the picture of the american flag and "These colors don't run!" beside it. all the red stripes on the flag had completely faded away.

posted by the burritto @ 5:44 PM 0 people have said what they wanted to.

yeah.

So in psychology the other day we played jeopardy. there were four teams. my team was named "the obese deer" and the other team that sucked with us was named "the monkey". all other team names are irrelevant because they're losers. my team was behind the whole game, but we came back in final jeopardy and jumped ahead of "the monkey". So ms. koch looks at the score and goes "oh the obese deer are beating the monkey!" haha. hahaha.

posted by the burritto @ 7:22 AM 3 people have said what they wanted to.